ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
