do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
