she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
