Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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