I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
