The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Someone shattered a urinal.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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