Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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