I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
