i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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