my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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