Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
