Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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