I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize