I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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