are you still at the devil's house?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize