my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
