tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
