Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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