So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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