are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
