Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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