Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
