we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
