Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize