Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
