New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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