just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
