ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
