My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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