Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize