Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
