he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
