sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
