I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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