Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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