Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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