You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
