We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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