We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
