oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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