Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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