this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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