Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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