Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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