Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
