so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
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IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
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My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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