piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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