did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
