No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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