I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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