Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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