I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
