I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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